And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
