I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she told me i tasted like america
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
