i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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