How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
