i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
His nipple licking is glorious
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