i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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