Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
