Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
