evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
