He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
