Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
