I could have mohawked her pubes.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
