just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
