I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
