I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
