ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
