1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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