yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
