if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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