awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
