he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
