i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
