There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
