you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
