So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
