I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize