WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
