Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
