They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
