I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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