I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
