i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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