There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
