nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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