I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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