I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
