tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
vagina is talking i cant
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
