In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
