booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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