no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
