Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
