Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
