College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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