oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
