So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
