I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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