Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
