Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
