Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
bring money and cleavage
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
