eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
