Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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