There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
