Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
