I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
