party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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