sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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