Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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