What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
