spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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