he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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