it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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