if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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