i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
