then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
