So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
