i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
