I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
