can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I came so hard my ears popped.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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